Mythomania (compulsive lying)
En español: lee sobre esta manía en Fobias.org.
You might notice that you have made something up again, a story, an achievement or a small detail that did not even matter, and not really know why you did it. Or you might live with someone whose stories do not add up, and wonder whether to challenge them, help them or protect yourself.
This page is for both, written with respect and without labels.
What it is
Mythomania, also called pathological lying or pseudologia fantastica, means lying or inventing stories again and again, often with no clear gain. Most people tell the odd lie to avoid trouble or spare someone’s feelings. With mythomania, the stories tend to be more elaborate, go on for years and continue even when they cause harm, such as losing a friend’s trust or a job. Some people half believe what they say, and others only admit it when a story falls apart.
Doctors have described it since the late 1800s, but it is not a diagnosis in its own right in the DSM-5 or the ICD. It is better understood as a pattern of behaviour, and research is limited. Some researchers argue it should be recognised as a condition, because people can feel real distress about it. It can happen on its own or alongside other difficulties, and anxiety or low mood can make it worse. Only a professional can assess an individual, and putting this label on someone else yourself rarely helps.
How it differs from a phobia
A phobia is a fear that makes you avoid something. Mythomania works the other way: it is a pull towards telling a story, often in the moment and almost automatically, with a quick sense of relief when the story is accepted. Fear can still be part of it, such as fear of being judged or found out, but the pattern is an urge to act rather than an urge to avoid.
Read more about manias and phobias
Common signs
- Making up or exaggerating stories almost without thinking
- Lying about things that do not matter
- Stories that change depending on who is listening
- Adding new lies to cover earlier ones
- Guilt or shame afterwards
- Worry about being found out
- Finding it hard to stop even when you want to
When it tends to show up
- Meeting new people
- Gatherings with friends and family
- Job interviews and work conversations
- Early in a relationship
- Social media and online profiles
- Direct questions about your past, work or money
- Times of conflict or tension
- When you feel less than the people around you
Symptoms
In your body
- Tension or nerves before talking about yourself
- Quick relief when a story is accepted
- A hot face or restlessness when asked for details
- Tiredness from always being on guard
- Poor sleep from worry about being found out
In your mind
- An urge to add to or invent a story
- Feeling the truth is not good enough
- Fear of being judged
- Mixing up what happened with what you said
- Low self-worth underneath
What you might do
- Tell dramatic stories that are hard to check
- Change details of the same story
- Avoid people who might contradict you
- Change the subject when questions get close
- Keep track of what you have told whom
What causes it
No single cause is known, and research is limited. Low self-esteem and a strong need to feel accepted, admired or liked often seem to sit underneath. It usually starts in the teenage years. For some people, lying may have begun as a way to avoid punishment, criticism or conflict, then became automatic over time. Each story that is accepted brings quick relief, which strengthens the habit, and once several lies are running, keeping them up takes more lies. Anxiety or low mood can add to it. It is not a lack of willpower or a sign that someone is a bad person.
How it can affect your life
Relationships usually feel it most. When lies come to light, trust breaks down, and it can take a long time to rebuild with a partner, family or friends. Some research suggests problems can also spread to work, money and sometimes legal matters. For the person, living in fear of being found out is draining, and the gap between the stories and real life can deepen loneliness and low mood. People close to someone who lies often struggle too, doubting everything, feeling hurt or worn out by arguments.
Treatment
In the UK, your GP is the usual first step. They can listen without judging, check for anxiety, low mood or anything else that needs help, and refer you on. Talking therapy is the main approach, often longer-term work with an experienced therapist, and it works best when you can be honest with them about the lying itself.
Therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can help you spot the urge, understand what drives it and practise different responses. There is no specific medication for mythomania, although a doctor may discuss treatment for anxiety or depression if they are part of the picture.
Things that can help day to day
- Notice when the urge to make something up appears, and jot it down
- Pause before answering and give yourself permission to say less
- Practise short, true replies like I am not sure or I would rather not say
- Calmly correct a small untruth when you can
- If someone close lies often, stay calm and do not play along
- Look after your own limits and support, too
When to get help
Get help if lying feels out of your control, is harming your relationships or work, or leaves you living with fear and guilt. Your GP is a good first step, and in England you can also refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies for anxiety and low mood. If you are a partner or relative of someone who lies a lot, you can ask for support for yourself too, and gently encourage them to seek help if they seem distressed by it.
If you are also feeling very low, talk to your GP or call Samaritans free on 116 123. For urgent mental health advice, call NHS 111 and choose the mental health option, and if you have thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, call 999 or go to A and E.
See also: Oniomania (compulsive buying)
How I can help
When I work with someone who wants to stop lying out of habit, over Zoom, I use hypnotherapy and NLP alongside, not instead of, talking therapy or care from their GP. We look closely at the moments just before a story comes out, so you can notice the urge earlier, and work on calming the tension and the fear of being judged that often drive it. In hypnosis we rehearse simple, honest replies until they start to feel safe and natural. We also work on self-worth, so the truth can feel like enough, and many clients find the pull to embellish loosens over time.
Common questions
Is mythomania a mental illness?
It is not a diagnosis in its own right in the DSM-5 or ICD, but doctors have long described it as a real pattern that can cause a lot of distress. Some researchers argue it should be recognised as a condition. It can happen on its own or alongside other mental health problems.
Do people with mythomania know they are lying?
Not always. Some people know they are making things up but feel unable to stop. Others come to half believe their own stories and only see it when someone points out the truth.
Can mythomania be treated?
There is no quick fix and no specific medication, but talking therapy can help someone understand the habit and change it. It usually takes time, and it works best when the person wants to change and can be honest with their therapist.
How should I respond to someone who lies compulsively?
Stay calm, as anger usually makes things worse. Do not play along: you can say calmly what you know and set clear limits. If they seem upset by their lying, encourage them to get professional help, without putting a label on them.
Further reading: Psychiatric Research and Clinical Practice: Pathological lying, theoretical and empirical support for a diagnostic entity · WebMD: What is pathological lying? · Mind: What is self-esteem? · NHS: Talking therapies
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