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  • Jordan Peele’s Us and the fear of doppelgangers

    Jordan Peele’s horror film Us opened to excellent reviews, and it has put an old fear back in the spotlight: the fear of meeting your double.

    Peele has said the film grew out of a fear he’d had since childhood, of seeing himself across a subway platform and wondering what would happen if that other self smiled back.

    An old superstition

    The fear of doppelgangers goes back centuries. In folklore a double was a bad omen, or a being that wanted to take over your life. The best-known superstition says that if you meet your double, one of you will die soon after.

    Is it a real phobia?

    Fear of doppelgangers isn’t an officially recognised phobia, but plenty of people describe it as one. Some feel the same unease around identical twins, especially adults. When the film came out, social media filled with people saying they wanted to see it but weren’t sure they could handle it.

    Like any fear, it becomes a problem when it starts to affect what you do, such as avoiding films, places or people because of it.

    Want help with a phobia?

    Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.

  • Why Mother’s Day can be hard for women with tokophobia

    Mother’s Day is a happy day for most families. For women with tokophobia, a fear of pregnancy and childbirth, it can bring up difficult feelings.

    What is tokophobia?

    Tokophobia is an intense fear of pregnancy, childbirth, or both. It can affect women who have never been pregnant, and women who have given birth before (known as secondary tokophobia). It often comes alongside a fear of pain or a fear of death.

    Worrying about pregnancy and birth is normal. It becomes a phobia when the fear is overwhelming, causes panic, and starts to shape important decisions.

    How it can show up

    • Avoiding pregnancy even when you want children
    • Using several forms of contraception at once out of worry
    • Intense dread about labour and birth
    • Feeling guilty or ashamed, especially if a partner wants children

    For some women it follows a difficult previous pregnancy or birth. For others it comes from stories they have heard, or a wider fear of medical settings.

    If you are pregnant, please tell your midwife or GP how you feel. They can support you and talk through your birth options. You can read more on my tokophobia page.

    Want help with a phobia?

    Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.

  • Folklore stories that could unsettle a phobic

    Many of the fears people bring to me are not new. Stories, saints and myths have been tied to animals, death and the unknown for hundreds of years. Here are five that might make someone with a phobia think twice.

    St Vincent of Saragossa and the birds

    Legend says that after St Vincent died, ravens and vultures guarded his body from wild animals. For most people that is a story of protection. For someone with a fear of birds, a sky full of circling ravens is the stuff of nightmares.

    Medusa and the snakes

    In Greek myth, Medusa had living snakes for hair and could turn anyone who looked at her to stone. It is one of the oldest images we have of snakes as something to be feared, and it still turns up in films and art today. If snakes make you freeze, our page on the fear of snakes may help.

    Saint Christopher and the dog’s head

    Some old Eastern icons show Saint Christopher with the head of a dog. Historians think it came from a mix up over the word for a foreign people, but the images are striking. For anyone with a fear of dogs, they can be unsettling to look at.

    La Santa Muerte

    Santa Muerte, or Holy Death, is a folk saint in Mexico, usually shown as a skeleton in a robe. Followers see her as a protector. For someone who struggles with a fear of death, though, a figure that puts death front and centre can be hard to face.

    Saint Gertrude and the cats

    Saint Gertrude of Nivelles is often linked with cats and is sometimes called a patron saint of cat lovers. That is lovely news for most of us, and less so for anyone with a fear of cats.

    Why stories stick

    Stories are powerful because the mind learns through them. A frightening image, seen once at the right moment, can stay with us for years. The good news is that the mind can learn a new response just as easily. That is exactly what I help people do.

    Want help with a phobia?

    Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.

  • Different ways to treat a phobia

    A phobia is more than a dislike. It is a strong, automatic fear response that can shape where you go and what you do. The good news is that phobias respond well to the right help. Here are the main options people use.

    Hypnotherapy

    Hypnotherapy works with the part of the mind that runs the fear response automatically. In a calm, focused state, you can learn a new reaction to the thing you fear, so it no longer sets off the old alarm. This is the approach I use, and many people notice a change quickly.

    Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)

    CBT looks at the thoughts and behaviours that keep a fear going. It often includes gradual exposure, where you face the fear in small, manageable steps. It is widely available and well researched, though it can take a number of weeks.

    Group support

    Some people find it helps to work through a fear with others who understand. Group sessions and support groups can make you feel less alone and give you practical ideas from people who have been there.

    Medication

    Some people are offered medication to manage anxiety symptoms. This is a conversation to have with your GP, who can talk you through what is suitable for you.

    Finding what suits you

    • Think about how much the fear affects your daily life
    • Consider whether you want a quicker, focused approach or a longer course
    • Talk to someone qualified before you decide

    If you are not sure where to start, the free phobia test is a good first step. It gives you a score for how strong your fear is right now.

    Want help with a phobia?

    Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.

  • Common phobias after a loss

    Most of us find death hard to talk about, so when we lose someone close for the first time, we are often unsure what to say, what to do or how to cope.

    Grief leaves us vulnerable. The mind treats emotional pain much like physical pain, and its job is to keep us away from harm. Sometimes it does that by creating new fears that steer us away from anything that might hurt again. Here are three that often show up.

    Fear of intimacy

    If you have lost a partner or a close friend, you may worry that letting someone new in will only end in another loss. You might turn down invitations, or pull back just as a new connection starts to grow. Some people also dread having to explain their loss to someone new. You can read more on our fear of intimacy page.

    Fear of happiness

    After a loss, being happy can feel risky, as if something bad will follow. It can also bring guilt, especially the first day you realise you have not thought about the person you lost. There is more on the fear of happiness page.

    Fear of being alone

    People who are grieving often push others away, yet deep down they want connection more than ever. They may fear never finding a partner again, or losing the people they still have. Talking to others is one of the things that helps most, so this fear can keep grief stuck. See the fear of being alone page.

    Taking your time

    There is no set timetable for grief. Be kind to yourself, lean on friends or a support group, and get professional help if you feel you need it. If a fear has grown out of your loss, it can be worked through, and that often makes the healing easier.

    Want help with a phobia?

    Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.

  • Dealing with school phobia

    Plenty of children say they do not want to go to school. School phobia, often called school refusal, is different. It is real anxiety, not boredom or bad behaviour, and it can be hard for parents to tell the two apart.

    What it can look like

    • Tummy aches, headaches or feeling sick on school mornings
    • Tears, panic or tantrums before leaving the house
    • Feeling fine at weekends and in the holidays

    The physical symptoms are real. The body is reacting to the stress, even when there is nothing medically wrong.

    What can cause it

    There is often a trigger. It might be bullying, trouble with schoolwork, a change at home, or a worry the child finds hard to put into words. Quieter children can bottle things up until the anxiety comes out this way.

    Why it matters

    Missed days add up. Children fall behind, feel more pressure, and can become cut off from friends, which feeds the anxiety. Parents feel the strain too, and it is easy for everyone to end up frustrated.

    What helps

    • Stay calm and listen, without forcing the issue
    • Talk to the school early so they can help
    • Speak to your GP to rule out anything physical and ask about support
    • Get specialist help if it carries on or gets worse

    The sooner it is tackled, the easier it usually is to turn around.

    Want help with a phobia?

    Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.

  • Phobias that could ruin your holiday

    Whether you like beaches, city breaks or mountain hikes, a holiday is meant to be time away from stress. If you live with one of these fears, though, it can feel like anything but.

    Fear of travelling

    Some people find any kind of travel stressful, whether by car, train or bus. In stronger cases it can mean rarely leaving home at all, let alone going abroad.

    Fear of the sea

    You might be happy to look at the sea but would never go in. Not knowing what is under the water, or worrying about the waves, can be enough to keep you on the sand. Our page on the fear of water covers this.

    Fear of heights

    Bridges, cliff paths, viewing platforms and mountain walks are holiday favourites. With a fear of heights, you can end up missing out on the best views and experiences.

    Fear of flying

    Unless you drive, most holidays start with a flight. Many people talk themselves into this fear even though flying is one of the safest ways to travel. See our fear of flying page.

    Do not let fear plan your trip

    Wherever you want to go, you deserve to enjoy all of it. These fears can be worked through, so your next holiday is about the trip, not the worry.

    Want help with a phobia?

    Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.

  • The phone that set off trypophobia

    In 2019 Nokia launched the 9 PureView, a smartphone with five camera lenses, a flash and a sensor grouped together on the back. Most reviewers praised the camera. People with trypophobia had a very different reaction.

    We have not included a picture here, as this blog is here to support people with phobias, not to set them off.

    What is trypophobia?

    Trypophobia is a strong reaction to clusters of small holes. Experts do not all agree on whether it is a true phobia or more of a disgust response. Either way, for some people the reaction is strong enough to cause panic, nausea and trouble concentrating.

    Why holes bother people

    Part of the fear is not knowing what might be inside the holes. One theory is that clusters of holes look a little like patterns linked to danger, such as some venomous animals or skin conditions, so the brain sounds an alarm.

    How people reacted

    Online, people compared the phone to a lotus seed head, a spider’s eyes and a shower head. Some said just seeing a photo was enough to set off their anxiety.

    If clusters of holes make your skin crawl, you can read more on our fear of holes page.

    Want help with a phobia?

    Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.

  • Do you have a technology phobia?

    Technology is part of almost every hour of our day. Alarms wake us, smart speakers play our music and we plan our lives on our phones. With so much of it around, it is no surprise that some people have strong fears about it. Here are five of the most common.

    1. Fear of technology in general

    Some people feel uneasy about technology and machines as a whole. They may worry about where it is all heading, or about their private information being stolen, and avoid smartphones and computers as a result.

    2. Fear of computers

    This is a fear focused on computers. It often comes from feeling out of control or out of your depth, and worrying about making a big mistake at work. It tends to affect older people more, who did not grow up with computers.

    3. Fear of phone calls

    Surprisingly, this one is common in younger people, who spend more time on their phones than anyone. Without seeing someone’s face, it is harder to read how a conversation is going, and there is little time to think. It is closely linked to the fear of public speaking.

    4. Fear of being without your phone

    Sometimes called nomophobia, this is the anxiety of being without your phone, even for a few hours. People worry about missing out, losing touch, or not being able to find their way.

    5. Fear of losing internet access

    Similar to the last one, this is anxiety about having no internet on any device. People worry about missing important emails or simply having nothing to do.

    Finding a balance

    Technology makes life easier, but too much of it can affect how we feel. If one of these fears is holding you back, it is easier to work through than most people think, and there is nothing to be embarrassed about.

    Want help with a phobia?

    Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.

  • Thanatophobia: the fear of death

    Most people feel uneasy about death from time to time. We do not know when it will happen or what it will be like, so some worry is natural. Thanatophobia is when that worry becomes so strong that it starts to shape your life. It is usually a fear of your own death, rather than death in general.

    Fears that often come with it

    Because it is about staying safe, the fear of death often brings other fears with it, such as:

    How it can feel

    • A racing heart, dizziness or shaking
    • Feeling sick, sweaty or short of breath
    • Hot or cold flushes
    • Unwanted images or thoughts about dying

    Why it is worth getting help

    In stronger cases, almost any place or situation can start to feel dangerous. Fear starts to decide where you go, who you see and what you do, and some people end up staying at home. Even a milder version can mean a lot of time lost to worry.

    If this sounds familiar, our fear of death page explains more. If your worries are linked to low mood or you are struggling, please also speak to your GP.

    Want help with a phobia?

    Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.