Blog

Phobias are among the most common mental health problems, and surveys regularly find they are reported more often by women than men. Nobody has a single answer for why, but there are a few likely reasons.

Life experiences

Stressful and frightening experiences make anxiety and phobias more likely, and women are more likely to go through some of these. A bad experience can change how the mind reacts to danger for years afterwards.

Asking for help

Men are often less likely to talk about fear or ask for help. That may mean some phobias in men simply go unreported, so the gap may be smaller than the numbers suggest.

Hormones

Changing hormone levels, for example around periods, pregnancy or the menopause, can affect mood and anxiety. Thyroid problems can also play a part, so it is worth checking with your GP if anxiety comes on suddenly.

The good news

There is still a lot we do not know about why phobias start. What we do know is that they respond well to the right help, whoever you are. If a fear is getting in the way of your life, it is worth doing something about it.

Want help with a phobia?

Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.

Valentine’s Day fills some people with joy and others with dread. Disliking romcoms and soppy songs is one thing. For some people, though, the day stirs up a real fear. Here are six that can make it hard.

Fear of commitment

The idea of committing to one person, or getting married, can bring on real anxiety. It often comes from past experiences, or from the pressure of making the “right” choice.

Fear of love

People with a fear of love often want closeness but are terrified of being hurt or rejected, so they keep relationships short or avoid them. Over time this can leave them isolated. Read more on our fear of love page.

Fear of kissing

This can be about germs, breath or simply the closeness of it. It can make dating very hard to enjoy.

Fear of touch

Some people find being touched deeply uncomfortable, which can be hard to explain to a new partner. For some it is linked to one gender, and connects with the fear of men or the fear of women.

Fear of being alone

Seeing couples and adverts everywhere can make this fear much stronger. It can affect people in relationships too, who worry their partner will leave. See the fear of being alone page.

Fear of intimacy

Being close to someone can feel nerve-racking for anyone. For people with this fear, it often stays hidden, and they struggle with it on their own. Our fear of intimacy page explains more.

You do not have to put up with it

Fears like these can quietly shape your relationships and leave you lonely. They respond well to the right help, and the first step is often the hardest.

Want help with a phobia?

Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.

For many people, faith is a great comfort. For some, though, fears linked to religion can grow until they take over. These fears are not tied to one religion, and they can affect believers and non-believers alike.

Fear of God or of religion

Some people live in constant worry about doing something wrong in the eyes of their faith and facing the consequences.

Fear of death

Many religions offer comfort about what happens after death. Even so, some people fear what may or may not come next, or worry they will not be judged kindly. Our fear of death page explains more.

Fear of the end of the world

Many traditions talk of a final day of judgement. Some people become anxious that it is close, and see signs of it everywhere.

Fear of certain numbers

Some numbers carry religious meaning. The number 13 is often linked to the Last Supper, and 666 to the devil. See our fear of Friday the 13th page.

Fear of demons

This can affect people who are not especially religious. It often follows a frightening experience or stories that felt very convincing.

Getting help

When a fear is tied up with faith, it can help to talk to a faith leader you trust as well as a professional. You can keep your beliefs and still let go of the fear that is weighing you down.

Want help with a phobia?

Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.

Every phobia is out of proportion to the real danger. That is what makes it a phobia. Some sound so unusual that people do not believe they exist, but for the people living with them they are very real.

1. Fear of bathing

Some people dread washing or bathing and get by with wipes or a damp cloth. It can start with a bad experience or be picked up from others.

2. Fear of chins

Seeing chins, your own or other people’s, can bring on a racing heart and dizziness. Some people avoid mirrors as a result.

3. Fear of buttons

This one is more common than you might think. Some people cannot touch or even look at buttons, and similar shapes such as coins can bother them too. See our fear of buttons page.

4. Fear of belly buttons

Some people find belly buttons unsettling, whether it is the look, the depth or the idea of touching one.

5. Fear of falling asleep

A fear of sleep often leads to poor sleep. It can come from vivid nightmares, a sense of losing control, or worry about something happening during the night.

6. Fear of phobias

This is a fear of the symptoms that come with a phobia, such as panic. It is common in people who have had a phobia before, or who have seen what one did to someone close.

7. Fear of chewing gum

For some it is the texture, for others the sound of bubble gum popping. It often goes back to an unpleasant experience in childhood.

8. Fear of hair

This can be a fear of loose hair, hair in certain places, or someone else’s hair. Some people avoid brushing their own hair in case it comes out.

9. Fear of the Pope

This is usually less about the person and more about what he stands for, and can be linked to fears around religion.

10. Fear of houses

A fear of being inside a house is linked to the fear of enclosed spaces. The feeling of being shut in can bring on panic, sweating and nausea. See our fear of small spaces page.

Unusual does not mean unimportant

If a fear is affecting your life, it matters, however unusual it sounds. It can be helped.

Want help with a phobia?

Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.

Anxiety and panic often come hand in hand with a phobia. Learning to calm yourself can make a real difference. It is hard to feel relaxed and frightened at the same time.

These ideas will not remove a phobia on their own, but they can help you cope while you get the right support. Try a few and keep the two or three that work best for you.

Exercise

Movement burns off nervous energy and lifts your mood. A run, a brisk walk or some yoga at home all help, and even half an hour a day makes a difference.

Meditation

A few minutes of meditation a day can lower your overall level of anxiety. There are many styles, but they all give your mind a break from its own thoughts.

Visualisation

Picture somewhere calm, such as a quiet beach, in as much detail as you can. Guided recordings can help you get started. It takes your mind out of the anxious moment.

Music

Make a playlist of songs that lift you. Singing or dancing along makes it even more effective, though perhaps not on a busy train.

Slow breathing

Breathing in gently for a count of four and out for a count of six helps slow your heart rate and tells your body it is safe.

Practise these when you are calm, so they are easier to reach for when you need them. If anxiety or panic is a regular part of your life, it is worth getting proper help.

Want help with a phobia?

Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.

Phobias are common, yet many people do not understand them or how much they can affect someone’s life. Here are four myths you may have heard.

Myth: a phobia is just a fear

Not quite. Someone who is scared of cats feels fine until they meet one. Someone with a fear of cats may feel sick at a photo, worry every time they leave the house, and even avoid friends who own a cat.

Myth: it is easy to get over a phobia

Getting over a small fear on your own does not mean a phobia works the same way. Trying to force yourself through it without support can sometimes make it worse. With the right help, though, phobias respond very well.

Myth: phobias are passed on in your genes

There is no clear evidence for this. Children can pick up a fear from a parent, but usually because they learn it by watching how the parent reacts.

Myth: unusual phobias are not serious

Some fears sound odd, but if one is affecting your quality of life, it is real. Joking about it only makes people feel ashamed. Anyone can develop a phobia, and there is no shame in getting help.

Want help with a phobia?

Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.

Phobias usually start with a bad experience, or are learned from the people around us. Since a culture is a group of people who share beliefs and ways of thinking, it makes sense that it might shape what we fear, too.

Taijin kyofusho

This is a fear described mainly in Japan. Rather than worrying about being embarrassed, the person worries that they will offend or upset others, for example through how they look or behave. It reflects a culture that puts a lot of weight on social harmony.

Ataque de nervios

Described mainly in some Latin American communities, this is not a phobia but an intense reaction to stress, which can include shaking, shouting, crying and sometimes fainting. It usually follows a genuinely upsetting event.

Social anxiety in the West

In many Western countries, social anxiety tends to centre on the fear of being judged or embarrassed yourself. It is often dismissed as shyness, but it can be very limiting. Our fear of public speaking page covers one common form.

What we can learn

There is still not much research on how culture shapes phobias, but it is a reminder that fears are learned, and what is learned can be changed.

Want help with a phobia?

Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.

Television loves stories about unusual phobias, especially when someone is faced with the thing they fear. For the viewer it can seem light-hearted. For the person living with the phobia, it can take a real emotional toll. Here are four of the most common ways.

Feeling ashamed

Most people with a phobia know their fear is out of proportion, which can make it embarrassing to talk about. Others may laugh, or get frustrated that it does not just go away. For people with social fears, the worry about being judged can make the phobia even stronger.

Feeling powerless

Some people live with a phobia for most of their lives without help. It can start to feel like part of who they are, as though nothing can be done. Many simply do not know where to turn.

Feeling frustrated

Shame and helplessness can quickly turn into frustration. You may ask yourself why this is happening, or feel cross with yourself for not beating it. If friends and family are frustrated too, it can make things harder.

Feeling lonely

After a while, many people stop talking about their fear. They are tired of being told it is not real and that they should just get over it, so they deal with it alone.

You do not have to go it alone

If a phobia is affecting your life, support makes a real difference. The sooner you deal with it, the less room it has to grow.

Want help with a phobia?

Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.

Most people know someone with a phobia, even if they do not have one themselves. Phobias are usually grouped into three types: specific phobias, agoraphobia and social phobias. Here are ten of the most common.

1. Spiders

Probably the first fear people think of. It is often learned from those around us, even though most spiders are harmless to humans. See the fear of spiders page.

2. Flying

Flying is one of the safest ways to travel, but rare accidents get huge news coverage, which keeps the fear alive. See the fear of flying page.

3. Germs

A fear of germs can lead to strict cleaning routines and avoiding busy places such as hospitals, schools and public transport. See the fear of germs page.

4. Needles

Most of us tense up before an injection. With a needle phobia, the fear is far stronger, and it can make vaccines and blood tests very hard. See the fear of needles page.

5. Heights

A fear of heights can keep you from viewing platforms, mountain roads and even everyday bridges. See the fear of heights page.

6. Snakes

Most people in the UK have barely seen a snake outside a zoo, yet the fear is very common. Films have not helped. See the fear of snakes page.

7. Dogs

A fear of dogs can come from a bad experience, or from growing up without them. See the fear of dogs page.

8. Social situations

Social fears, such as public speaking or being watched, are often dismissed as shyness, but they can keep people away from school, work and friends. See the fear of public speaking page.

9. Crowded spaces

Agoraphobia is a fear of places where it feels hard to escape, and is often linked to panic attacks. In stronger cases people stop leaving the house. See the fear of crowded spaces page.

10. Thunder and lightning

People with this fear often check the forecast every day and may cancel plans if storms are due. See the fear of thunder and lightning page.

If one of these sounds like you, it is worth tackling early, before it starts to shape your life.

Want help with a phobia?

Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.

If you have not sorted a Valentine’s gift yet, this is not a guide to what to buy. It is a guide to what not to buy, if you would rather not start the evening with a panic attack.

Flowers

The classic last-minute gift. But some people have a fear of flowers, sometimes because they link them with a funeral or a bad experience. If that is your partner, skip the bouquet.

Candles

A room full of candles and petals sounds romantic. For someone with a fear of fire or of candles, it could be the opposite. Check before you set the scene.

Chocolate

Hard to believe, but some people do fear chocolate. If your partner is one of them, you may have to eat the box yourself.

Jewellery

A fear of jewellery is real, and people who have it often keep quiet because they get laughed at. Some say touching certain pieces makes them feel uncomfortable or dirty.

Make it personal

If your partner does have a phobia, use it as a chance to find something thoughtful and unique. Being understanding about their fear is a gift in itself.

Want help with a phobia?

Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.