Most of us find death hard to talk about, so when we lose someone close for the first time, we are often unsure what to say, what to do or how to cope.
Grief leaves us vulnerable. The mind treats emotional pain much like physical pain, and its job is to keep us away from harm. Sometimes it does that by creating new fears that steer us away from anything that might hurt again. Here are three that often show up.
Fear of intimacy
If you have lost a partner or a close friend, you may worry that letting someone new in will only end in another loss. You might turn down invitations, or pull back just as a new connection starts to grow. Some people also dread having to explain their loss to someone new. You can read more on our fear of intimacy page.
Fear of happiness
After a loss, being happy can feel risky, as if something bad will follow. It can also bring guilt, especially the first day you realise you have not thought about the person you lost. There is more on the fear of happiness page.
Fear of being alone
People who are grieving often push others away, yet deep down they want connection more than ever. They may fear never finding a partner again, or losing the people they still have. Talking to others is one of the things that helps most, so this fear can keep grief stuck. See the fear of being alone page.
Taking your time
There is no set timetable for grief. Be kind to yourself, lean on friends or a support group, and get professional help if you feel you need it. If a fear has grown out of your loss, it can be worked through, and that often makes the healing easier.
Want help with a phobia?
Take the free phobia test to see how strong your fear is, or book a £49 consultation call and we can talk it through.
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