Fear of hairdressers and haircuts
A fear of hairdressers and haircuts can leave you putting off a trim for months, with your chest tightening at the thought of sitting in the chair, facing the mirror, with nowhere to go.
Many people find that with the right help, they can book a haircut, sit back in the chair feeling relaxed, and enjoy walking out looking and feeling fresh.
Use code PHOBIA at checkout for half price: £24.50 instead of £49. Outside the UK? $29.50.
Understanding this fear
Lots of people feel a little awkward at the hairdresser or the barber’s. With a fear of haircuts, the feeling is strong enough to make you put it off for months. Some people feel trapped once the gown is on and the cut has started, some hate looking at themselves in the mirror, and some dread the small talk or being looked at up close. For others it is the noise of clippers, water on the face or being touched.
It is closely linked to social anxiety, a fear of being touched, a fear of being stared at and a fear of small spaces (claustrophobia), as the feeling of being stuck in the chair is a big part of it for many people.
Common triggers
- The gown fastened round your neck
- Having to sit still for a long time
- Facing yourself in the mirror
- Clippers buzzing near your ears
- Leaning back at the basin
- Chatting with the stylist
- A busy, noisy salon
- Worrying about how it will turn out
Where it shows up
- Hair salons
- Barber’s shops
- Beauty and nail salons
- Dental and opticians’ chairs, which can feel similar
- Weddings and big events that need hair done
- Children’s first haircuts
Symptoms
In your body
- Racing or pounding heart
- Feeling hot or sweaty
- Restless legs or a strong urge to get up
- Tight chest or throat
- Blushing
In your mind
- What if I need to leave halfway through?
- Feeling stared at in the mirror
- Worrying what to say
- Dreading how it will look
- Feeling trapped once it has started
What you might do
- Putting off haircuts for months
- Cutting your own hair
- Always going to the same person
- Saying yes to any style just to get it over with
- Wearing hats or tying your hair back to hide it
What causes it
A bad haircut, a stylist who made you feel uncomfortable, or feeling trapped in the chair as a child can be enough to start it. Social anxiety, worries about your looks, or a general fear of being stuck can add to it. Once the fear is there, putting haircuts off brings quick relief, which teaches your mind that the chair really was dangerous, so the fear grows.
How it can affect your life
A fear of haircuts can affect how you feel about yourself. People let their hair grow out of shape, cut it themselves, hide under hats, and feel less confident at work, on dates and at big events. It can feel too small a thing to mention, which can make it harder to ask for help.
Things that can help day to day
- Tell the stylist or barber you get anxious, so they can explain each step
- Book a quiet time, or ask about a quiet appointment with no small talk
- Ask for a quick break if you need one, and agree it at the start
- Breathe out slowly, a little longer than you breathe in, as the gown goes on
- Start with a short trim or a fringe tidy, then build up at your own pace
When to get help
It is worth getting help if you are putting haircuts off for months, it is affecting how you feel about yourself, or the fear is spreading to the dentist, opticians or other places where you sit still. If you feel anxious in many situations, or the anxiety is affecting your daily life, your GP is a good first port of call.
If you are autistic or have sensory sensitivities, the noise, touch and closeness of a haircut can be hard for reasons that are not a phobia. A quiet appointment, ear defenders or a home visit may help, and that is a difference to work with rather than a fear to fix.
How I can help
If you’ve tried to talk yourself out of this fear and it hasn’t worked, that isn’t a lack of willpower. A phobia is an alarm your mind learned, and logic alone rarely switches it off.
When I work with a fear of haircuts, I first find out what the fear is really about for you, whether that is feeling trapped, the mirror, the small talk or a past bad experience. Using hypnotherapy and NLP over Zoom, I help your mind let go of the old alarm, so the chair becomes a place to sit back and relax. We rehearse your appointment in your mind, calmly and in detail, until it feels ordinary. You get a recording of the hypnosis to listen to before you go.
I’ve spent 17 years in clinical practice and helped more than 1,000 people with phobias. I hold a Postgraduate Certificate and a Postgraduate Diploma in Clinical Hypnotherapy, both with Distinction.
If you’re feeling low or on edge most of the time, talking to your GP or someone you trust can help too.
Common questions
Why do I feel trapped at the hairdresser?
Once the gown is on and the cut has started, it feels hard to leave. For an anxious mind, that sense of not being able to get up is a lot like being stuck in a lift or a traffic jam.
Is it OK to tell my hairdresser I am anxious?
Yes. Good stylists and barbers help nervous clients all the time. Many are happy to explain what they are doing, keep the chat light or offer a quieter time.
Is a fear of haircuts the same as social anxiety?
They often go together, but not always. Some people are relaxed in most social situations and only struggle in the chair, where they are close to someone and facing a mirror.
How do sessions work?
I use hypnotherapy and NLP to change how your mind responds to this fear. Sessions are one to one over Zoom, and you get a recording of the hypnosis to listen to afterwards.
How many sessions will I need?
Many clients notice a real difference after one 90 minute session. If the fear goes back a long way, three sessions gives us room to make the change stick.
Further reading: NHS: Phobias · NHS: Social anxiety
Ready to start?
A short call is the simplest next step. We’ll talk about your fear, what you’d like to feel instead, and whether I’m the right person to help.
- Take the free test at the top of this page to see how strong your fear is.
- Book a 30 minute call. Use code PHOBIA at checkout for half price: £24.50 instead of £49 ($29.50 outside the UK).
- Start your sessions over Zoom from wherever you live, or face to face in Hertfordshire.
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